It's
Just My Life
Financial Planning For Women A Must
Mitral
valve Prolapse Syndrome
Where
Did Your Hormones Go?
Elimination
Communication: An Alternative To Traditional Potty Training
by Joan Marques
Feb 6, 2003
People have an ingrained ethnocentrism, which leads them to believe that their perceptions and cultural performance are the right - and only - way to go.
Soe Agnie was sitting on the front porch of her small but comfortable house, overlooking the beautiful shady street that she had become so used to. On evenings like these she was enjoying the picturesque view of trees, sidewalks, and neighbors walking their dogs. Her nose picked up the mouthwatering aroma of barbecue, as she pricked up her ears to hear an old Rolling Stones song that was playing on one of her neighbors'' radios. "Just take it or leave it. Don't tell your friends just what you're gonna do now. You take it or leave it. It's just my life..." And suddenly the images changed. Memory took over...
Soe Agnie was 10 years old, living in one of the countless slums of China, alive by the grace of God and whoever prevented her from being murdered when born, as girls were not exactly considered an asset. The family was dead poor. They lived with 16 people in a space smaller than a container: from grandparents to uncles, aunts, and cousins. And Soe Agnie was always hungry. But the large factory in the village, where all the adults from her family and the vicinity were working didn't allow children: At least, not officially. But if you were discrete enough, you were allowed in through the backdoor after schooltime.
The wages for children were minimal, but they helped to feed the many hungry mouths, to buy clothes, and even to pay for the braces that Soe Agnie so desperately needed at that age. And all the kids in the village did it: Every day after school, they would enter the factory through the backdoor, and perform their tasks. And Soe Agnie would listen to the radio while her little hands were diligently doing their meticulous work. "Just take it, or leave it, it's just my life..."
After work, the family would leave together, and discuss the day's events in the little container that was "home." Yes, life was hard in those days. Yet, it was this opportunity of working after school, that started the dream within Soe Agnie to see the country where the stylish looking managers that visited the village once a year came from: America.
And now she was here. At 42, Soe had made something of her life. After high school, her parents sent her to the United States for higher education. She finished her bachelor's and Master's in Fashion Design, and worked her way up to the executive level of a successful company, that was now considering opening a production unit in China. However, child labor was, of course, out of the question, because it was condemned by local authorities and the entire society. And the company did not want to risk its reputation in the home- or global market. Soe Agnie understood all of this, but she also understood the other side, because that was where she came from. And she knew that if she had not had the opportunity to help earn the family income from her young age on, she would have never reached this position, as she might not have had the inspiration that conceived the dream, which led her to this beautiful porch in this peaceful neighborhood. Soe Agnie sighed.
For the first time she clearly realized the core of the ethical dilemma her company was facing: People have an ingrained ethnocentrism, which leads them to believe that their perceptions and cultural performance are the right - and only - way to go. It's tough for a people with a relatively prospering economy to realize that what is an absolute no-no to them, can be a blessing to others. And that, by imposing their convictions upon other cultures, they do more bad than good to those: withholding them the opportunity to outgrow the financial pressure they're under. So, now that Soe had finally worked herself up to the other side of the table, she had to come to the painful conclusion that she still could not do anything for her many relatives and their children in the slum where she came from. And tomorrow was her flight to China. She would have to convey the message to the villagers where the new factory would operate: No child labor allowed. Never! Because that was the law. And she would see the faces. Faces like hers when she was ten. She would have to let them know that "she was not going to take it, but leave it. It was just their life..." Soe Agnie wept...
About the Author: Joan Marques, holds an MBA, is a doctoral candidate in Organizational Leadership, and a university instructor in Business and Management in Burbank, California. You may visit her web site a www.joanmarques.com
If you would like more information on infant feeding or breastfeeding: Email me. I would love to help.
Financial Planning For Women A Must©
Written By Karen Squires
It appears that the wage gap among genders in there from the beginning. Women's wages, retirement and pensions, are less than a man's and it starts as soon as we enter the work force as teenagers.
Results from a poll show that half of teenage girls make less that $6 per hour and only 34.1% of teenage boys do. 33.5% of boys make more than $7.51 per hour but only 19.2% of girls do.
According to an informational card called FACTS ABOUT,
• In the year 2000, women earned only 73% of every dollar men earned. A woman who has graduated from college will earn $523,000 less over her lifetime than a male performing the same job.
• Two thirds of the 7.2 million elderly women living alone have an income of less than $15,000 per year.
• In the year 2000, women who were over 65 years of age were twice as likely as men to live below the poverty level.
• 25% of older women rely on Social Security as their sole source of income.
Women who stay at home to raise their children are often penalized for taking care of their families. Men stay in the work force from teenage years to retirement. Women often work as teenagers and throughout their college years, then stay home and raise the children. It can take 5 years to make up for lost wages and retirement for every 1 year a woman takes off work. While both working outside of the home, and raising the children, are a necessary part of our society and family life, raising children is often seen as "less than," "not as important as," having a job.
While men in the workforce are building retirement plans, there is no retirement plans for a woman who says at home with the children. It is sad that our country does not value the care that mothers provide for our children, and the future of our country, more than that. For the women that do work the situation is not much better, as retired women only get 1/2 as much pension that men do. And even worse, 50% of working women have jobs that provide no retirement at all.
Women who stay at home with the children often don't give much thought to retirement. They are sometimes unaware of what the future can and will hold for them. The may believe that their husbands retirement will take care of them. This may or may not be true. According to the National Center for Women & Retirement, 80 to 90% of women will be solely responsible for their own finances at some point in their live, mostly due to death of a spouse or divorce. According to Sen. John Ashcroft (R-MO), 2/3 of women over 65 have no pension other than Social Security, and we all know how much we can count on that.
Men nor women can count on Social Security, and the stock market can be a ricky way to plan for the future, especially if you are not educated in finances, and most people aren't. According to Ihatefinancialplanning.com, 56% of women are afraid to learn about financial planning because the topic seems complicated and they don't feel confident in making financial decisions. But to trust that your husbands employer, or yours, is handling investments wisely, and count on that as a comfortable retirement, is risky. There is a saying that the reason financial advisors are called brokers is because they are often broker than we are. They sometimes don't understand the market very well themselves and we are all trusting our futures on their decisions.
Regardless of your marital status, Women should take a look at their retirement seriously, and fortunately, women today are more educated and can learn how to take care of their finances. Make sure that your future is taken care of whether your husband is working and investing or not. Become involved in the planning, ask questions. Do you know where the money is? Do you know how to access it if your husband were to die suddenly, it can happen.
Become financially intelligent by reading books and taking classes in finances. I suggest you start reading the Rich Dad, Poor Dad books by Robert T. Kiyosaki, he's written many. Check your library for the titles available and read them all. You are capable of finding a physician to take care of your health, so find a financial planner that specializes in helping women, and take care of your finances. If that idea scares you, or if you don't have any money right now, start with reading and learning, it's free. The children grow up and you will find yourself back in the workforce. Become educated in the meantime and know what you are going to do with your money when you get some.
June cleaver never gave much thought to retirement, she let Ward do it all. That wasn't as dangerous then as it is now. Ward no doubt worked for a firm that had a DB retirement plan, or Defined Benefit. This plan defined a set dollar amount that Ward would received after retirement. For example, if Ward worked for 40 years he would get $1000 a month after he retired for as long as he lived. With inflation that may or may not be a comfortable income. Today most companies have a DC plan, or Defined Contribution. Your company matches your contribution. If you contribute nothing, you get nothing. If you do contribute, your contribution is often put into the stock market by your company. You may retire with a lot of money or you may retire broke, depending on what the market is doing and/or how well your money is managed.
It's a good idea to have some of your financial planning separate from your husbands. The divorce rate is at 50% and that makes it imperative that you are taking care of yourself. I got married back in 1980, and I thought that it would last forever. I was divorced 7 years later. I was a single mother, no education past high school, and a toddler to take care of. I spent 10 long years going to college and barely surviving. I learned the hard way. But I was also lucky as it taught me that life can change in a second. I went from middle class to surviving on $300 a month. I learned that lesson as a fairly young woman so I had plenty of time to make changes and plans for the future. I can't even begin to imagine how difficult that lesson would have been if I had been 65. At some point in 9 out of 10 women's lives, they will be the sole income earner. I am now becoming financially intelligent. It is a long process and I have so much to learn. But I am taking it one step at at time.
Another reason to have some financial planning separate from your husbands is life span. Women often live longer than men. You should consider the possibility that you may live into your 90's. Where are you going to get the money to survive on for that long? Scary thought, isn't it. Don't put it off any longer. Become financially wise now.
Mitral valve Prolapse Syndrome©
No one ever warned me that being happy would make me feel stressed. Sure, if you lose a loved one, you know you'll feel stress; if you get fired, you know you'll feel stressed; if your relationship fails, you know you'll feel stressed. No one tells you, though, that you'll feel equally as stressed when you get married to the love of your life, get offered a good job, and have a happy, healthy baby!
My husband and I met in elementary school. He was in 8th grade and I was in 7th. He was so cute!! (Yes, dear, you still are...) We fell in love after a single trip around the roller skating rink. [I'm definitely showing my age with THAT comment...] Five years later we were engaged, and then were married four years after that.
We had no money to get married. We were so young! The country was about to go to war in the Gulf, and my mother-in-law said she would help us with expenses and a place to live if we got married. I think she was hopeful that by her son getting married, he wouldn't be the first to be drafted! Her only caveat for our marriage, and her giving us a place to stay: No babies. Of course a month later, I was pregnant.
Our beautiful baby was born in 1991. My pregnancy had been relatively easy, his birth was very easy, and he was a happy, healthy baby. The next summer, when our son was almost one year old, things started to go downhill. The lack of income after being a stay-at-home mom was really starting to affect us, so I took a job as a loan closer with our family's mortgage company. Now my little guy was watched during the day by a wonderful neighbor. We had to buy a car, we moved into our own place, I started my new job, I started going to the gym to try to lose the stubborn baby-fat that wouldn't go away, and I tried to still be a good wife and also have quality time with my baby. Life was full!
I really didn't feel very stressed; I was taking it all in stride. We were young and in love, and we could accomplish anything! Not long afterwards, I was shown otherwise. I woke up in the middle of a summer night, feeling like I had to "GO!" After using the bathroom, I felt very dizzy. I had fainted twice in my life and knew what was "ok" dizzy and what wasn't! My husband brought me some ice tea, but an hour later the dizziness got worse, not better. I called my family doctor and he told me "You can't faint when you're lying down. You will be fine, go to sleep."
I didn't wait too long before heading for the emergency room. Once there, I was diagnosed as having an anxiety attack, given something to help me sleep, and sent home. Evidently, it was all in my head. I felt so silly for going to the hospital.
That summer was hell. I had constant diarrhea, no appetite, chills, shakes, horrible dizzy spells, blue extremities, insomnia, migraines, chest pains, and more. What the heck was going on! After three months of living this way, and constantly being told that I was fine - it was all in my head, I gave up. One morning I could not "get it together." I sat, shivering, on the couch and could not even get dressed. I felt like I was having a nervous breakdown. So, I told my husband to take me to the E.R. because I was going to admit myself to the psychiatric unit.
My guardian angel was watching over me that morning. The nurse listened to all my symptoms, and took me very seriously. Then she told me that it sounded very similar to what her mother had gone through, who was eventually diagnosed with Mitral Valve Prolapse (MVP).
I had heard of MVP. Many of my relatives had been diagnosed with it, but no one really talked too much about it. After hearing of the family history, they decided to do an echocardiogram (sonogram of the heart) and an EKG. The echocardiogram was positive for MVP, so I was referred to a cardiologist.
The cardiologist said that MVP was a common heart condition and that it was nothing to worry about. Nothing to worry about! I was pretty confused! I went from doctor to doctor, and had lots of tests done and was prescribed many different medications in an attempt to "help" me. Finally, they suggested I see a psychologist.
In 1994, I got fed up with the care I was receiving from the healthcare community. I had been treated like I was crazy, and I had had enough! I made it my "mission" to help others out there, who were also suffering and being made to feel like it was all in their heads. I started doing research, I joined a local support group, and I talked to lots of other people diagnosed with MVP. In 1997 I started a website project to get the word out to everyone I could that YOU ARE NOT ALONE, and IT IS NOT ALL IN YOUR HEAD. I also published a self-help book just recently. The response has been overwhelming!
You're probably asking, what is MVP? I've learned over the years that MVP is a very common heart condition, affecting a large portion of the population - and many people never experience any symptoms. However, for those who do suffer with horrible symptoms, they feel anything but common. I've also learned that the usual counterpart of MVP is an autonomic nervous system disorder called Dysautonomia. Put MVP and Dysautonomia together, and you get Mitral Valve Prolapse Syndrome (MVPS).
MVP is usually genetic, passed down from generation to generation. It is characterized by a "clicking" sound in your heart, caused by the valve not properly closing. Symptoms of MVP vary greatly from person to person. Many people with MVP have no symptoms at all (which is why so many are never diagnosed). The most common symptoms are chest pain, palpitations, a "fluttery" feeling in the chest, low exercise endurance, "skipped" heartbeats, heart pounding/racing, and dizziness.
MVP is diagnosed by way of four criteria. (1) your heart sounds, through a stethoscope, (2) your family history, (3) your list of symptoms, and (4) the results of an echocardiogram. You can have a negative echocardiogram and still be diagnosed with MVP if you meet some or all the other criteria. Proper diagnosis is very important because the risk of endocarditis (infection of the heart) is high if you are not premedicated with antibiotics prior to all dental work.
Dysautonomia is a bit trickier to diagnose. There are only a few centers in the United States equipped to make such a diagnosis. Generally, if you are diagnosed with MVP, and you also suffer from nervous system dysfunction symptoms, you are thought to have MVPs Some common symptoms of Dysautonomia are anxiety and panic attacks, irritable bowel syndrome, depression, weather sensitivity, and difficulty swallowing. Obviously many of these symptoms are common in many other conditions as well. That's why it is very important to see a doctor in order to rule out anything else which may be causing them, before assuming they are related to MVPs, or Dysautonomia alone.
Even though I was probably born with MVP, it took some stressful situations to make the bothersome symptoms surface. Because I have a diagnosis, it makes it so much easier to deal with the symptoms. I find that positive self-talk is very helpful in relaxing during anxious times. Even though I sometimes still experience symptoms, they do not have the same effect as they used to.
MVP is most certainly not a death sentence. The condition is not life-threatening, but it usually is lifestyle-threatening. In order to reduce symptoms and to stay as healthy as possible, there are many things you can do to feel better. Drinking lots of water every day is essential, as well as cutting out all caffeine (coffee, tea, sodas, and chocolate!). Avoiding refined sugars and carbohydrates also helps a great deal. Getting moderate, regular exercise such as walking everyday also can alleviate many symptoms. Last, but not least, stress-reduction therapy is important. Yoga and bio-feedback are both good choices for reducing stress.
Medications also play an important role in reducing symptoms. Beta blockers are a good choice for cardiac symptoms, since they regulate the heart rate and reduce chest pain and palpitations. Anti-anxiety medications are very helpful for those suffering from panic attacks and anxiety. Even though MVP is not something that can be "cured," there is no reason to suffer from debilitating symptoms if you can do something proactive to prevent them!
To make a [very] long story short, yes - life is stressful. Positive things can cause stress just as negative things can, and all we can hope to do is just go with the flow and continue to do our best each day. Knowledge is power, so strive to learn everything you can about whatever challenges you face.
Please come visit our online community at http://www.MVPSupport.com
Written by Karen Squires
Premenopause, perimenopause, menopause, premature menopause, postmenopause, what do those words mean. Although the definitions can vary a little depending on where you read about them, I'll define the words here so you'll have a better understanding of them.
Premenopause is your entire reproductive years before menopause, beginning with your first menstruation and ending with your last.
Perimenopause is the time immediately before menopause(can last from 5-15 years) when the cycles become irregular. For me this began around age 33 although I wouldn't recognize it for many years after. Often this period begins between ages 35 and 45. The woman may see her doctor concerned with symptoms that she feels are hormonal and may be told that she is too young and to come back in a few years.
Premature menopause, or premature ovarian failure, occurs when a woman completes menopause in her 20's, 30's or 40's. It is very difficult to deal with emotionally and physically as it causes infertility and the woman may not have any children yet or may want to have more. Since estrogen declines in premature menopause just like natural menopause, it puts the woman at risk for diseases.
Menopause(natural) is the permanent cessation of menstruation resulting from the loss of ovarian follicular activity. Is is said to have occurred when 12 months of having no menstrual periods have occurred or when there is no other obvious pathological or physiological cause. The average age is 50 years old.
Natural menopause occurs when the cycles of ovulation come to an end because the supply of eggs diminishes.
Menopause(Induced) is when both ovaries are removed(with or without removal of the uterus) or when ovarian function has ceased because of chemotherapy or radiation.
Postmenopause is the period after all menstrual cycles have stopped completely. Clinicians recognize this period as beginning after 12 full months have passed without a monthly cycle. This is the time where the hormones reach a level of stability after the fluctuations that occurred during perimenopause. Hotflashes have usually calmed down and the emotions have stabilized.
Some women can pass through premenopause to postmenopause without much trouble. They don't have premenstrual syndrome(PMS) or have very little of it. They don't have cramps before their period or if they do they are insignificant. They may wonder if PMS even exists and may think that women who complain of it are making it up or exaggerating. When they enter perimenopause they glide through it and have little or no trouble. They may have a few hot flashes and/or gain a few pounds but for the most part they have the type of body that handles the hormone fluctuations quite well. They may wonder why hormone replacement exists and why there is such a fuss being made about it. Fortunately many women fit into this category and sail through life with very little trouble with their hormones.
Other women are not so lucky and have many symptoms from their hormones fluctuating. Some are so badly affected that they are miserable and maybe become unable to function normally. This can be the time of life that women either attempt or achieve suicide.
In the last four decades many advances have been made in women's health. At the beginning of this century little was know about women's health and doctor's(who were mostly men) treated women's complaints by giving them a little tonic which was syrup with alcohol added. In the early 1960's birth control was approved by the FDA and in 1973 Our Bodies, Ourselves, was published by the Boston Women's Health Collective and pushed women's issues into becoming a very public issue. The feminist movement in the early 1960's brought even more light to the topic of women's health and women began talking about their health openly. Women were becoming career oriented, were involved in politics and could no longer be hushed and kept behind closed doors too afraid to discuss their health even with their closest friends and relatives. Women today are educated, better informed and less likely to follow doctor orders and take a little pill for this and that. They are reading, researching, experimenting, and passing the information back to their doctors who in turn pass it onto other women. Many physicians today are women and have experienced their own issues with health and hormones and have made it a priority to find solutions not only for their own health problems but the health problem of the women they treat.
Many women try synthetic Hormone Replacement Therapy (HRT, as opposed to natural HRT, more on this follows) to reduce their symptoms. It is estimated that about 13.5 million women in the United States are taking HRT during and after menopause. About 8 million of those are taking estrogen only. About 6 million take estrogen and progestin together. Progestin is added to try and counteract the effects of estrogen on the uterus which can contribute to uterine cancer, but progestin intolerance is one of the reasons women stop HRT, bleeding being is the most common.
News broke in July of 2002 that the risks of HRT outweigh the benefits. According to the study, out of 10,000 thousand women taking HRT you can expect to see breast cancer increased by 8 women, colorectal cancer decreased by 6, heart attacks increased by 7, hip fractures decreased by 5, blood clots increased by 18, stroke increased by 8.
A study by the National Cancer Institute found that by taking HRT for 10 years, the recommended amount of time suggested to reduce the risk of osteoporosis, your risk of ovarian cancer increases by 60% and after taking HRT for 20 years your risk triples.(1) No matter what you read about HRT though, after decades of research, the benefits compared to the risks of HRT still remain uncertain. (Some research shows that it is progesterone that prevents osteoporosis, not estrogen.)
When you are handed a prescription for synthetic HRT you should know what your actually getting. The estrogen used in HRT is derived from pregnant mares urine, yes,... horses! Mare's urine only contains two types of estrogen and those two types of estrogen are natural for horses, not humans. Humans have three types of estrogen, estrone, estradiol, and estriol. Taking only two forms of estrogen instead of three(and for a horse rather than a human) can produce side effects like increased bleeding and the increased risk of breast cancer.
Rather than taking synthetic HRT, why not try natural HRT. The chemical makeup in natural HRT is exactly the same as what is in our bodies. The estrogens and progesterone are derived from plants and have been safely prescribed in Europe for over 50 years and have almost no side effects. Why doesn't your doctor know about this form of HRT?. Natural substances can't be patented so the drug companies have no interest in them and they are not pushed on your doctor by drug salesmen. An estimated two million women use natural hormone replacement therapy and are benefiting from them without taking the risks involved with synthetic HRT.
Natural HRT is made in compounding pharmacies to meet the needs of the individual woman. You can work with your doctor to determine the exact amount of each hormone you need. There are compounding pharmacies in Unites States and around the world. Look them up on the www. You need a prescription for it so you will need to search around a bit for a medical provider who will work with you in using natural HRT. Many are not aware of it and some don't know much about it. Since you need a prescription your insurance may cover it. Call a compounding pharmacy and ask for a list of doctors that provide prescriptions for natural HRT and make an appointment to see one of them.
Before you run to your health care provider begging for hormones though you should become educated about your health. The woman who is suffering through this sometimes difficult time should read, read, read, it is the most important first step. You need to be aware of the choices available so you can be actively involved in the process of finding out what works for you. You want to talk intelligently with your heath care provider and become a partner in the sometimes complicated process of regaining your health. There are many books at the library on menopause. I've read a lot of them myself. At first I became confused as I realized that they all seemed to say different things, even contradicting each other. For example, the book What Your Doctor May Not Tell You About Premenopause, by John R. Lee, is about how wonderful progesterone is. It will list the symptoms of estrogen dominance and tells you if you are experiencing these symptoms you may benefit from a natural progesterone cream. Many of the symptoms on the list were my complaints to I tried the cream. I woke up one morning feeling oh so bad from PMS, went to the medicine cabinet, got the progesterone cream I had purchased the day before, and rubbed a small amount on my arm. About an hour later I felt a calm come over me, my symptoms all but disappeared, and I proceeded to have a better day than I had had in over two years. I was ecstatic.
I still had some issues with hormones though and continued to read more and more books on menopause. When I read Screaming To Be Heard I was crushed. The author, unlike John R. Lee, pretty much said that progesterone is not the hormone that is needed by most women and that estrogen is. She goes on to prove her point as well as John R. Lee proved his point that progesterone is what is needed. For the next two days I didn't use the progesterone cream thinking that I shouldn't use it after all. That's as long as it took for me to start feeling "oh so bad" again and I practically ran to the cabinet to get some some and rub it on my arm. Ah, relief!
Another book,What's Wrong With My Hormones? by Gillian Ford, is also about how wonderful estrogen is. The Author tells the story of her own hormone difficulties starting at puberty and lasting for years until she discovered that estrogen reduced her symptoms within hours after her first application. She too thinks that estrogen is the answer for many women. She does cover progesterone a little though and agrees that it can help some women.
I've read enough books on menopause now to know that there is not just one right answer to hormone problems. There are many, and the solutions are as individual as the woman. Some women may need estrogen, some may need progesterone, some(or many according to the author of Screaming to be heard) need both. There are other hormones that need to be checked as well, your thyroid function, among other, should be tested thoroughly. You'll need to work closely with your health care provider to decide what's right for you.
But what kind of health care provider should you see? Do you see your gynecologist, midwife, general practitioner, Naturalopathic physician? I'd say the answer lies in who can help you the most and that depends on the expertise of the individual health care provider. If you go to your gynecologist, for example, and complain of symptoms that you believe are hormone related and you get handed some samples of synthetic HRT, a prescription for some more, and a pat on the head, or even worse, antidepressants(for some women antidepressant are the solution though as hormone troubles can be cause by stress and/or low levels of serotonin), I suggest that you either insist on testing or find help somewhere else. You should shop around until you find somebody who is willing to really look at your hormones, multiple times if that's what it takes to get an accurate picture of what yours are doing, and treat you as an individual.
A Natural HRT combination of estrogen and progesterone may work for you, or progesterone cream alone may be your answer, and so may be the antidepressants that are so often handed out, but you need to know what those treatments do and what the side effects can be so you can make an informed decision. For example there is no point in taking an antidepressant if you need progesterone. In this case the antidepressant may only cover up the symptoms, and not treat the original problem. Estrogen and progesterone affect the levels of seratonin in the brain so an antidepressant may help you, but taking estrogen and/or progesterone may help even more. Levels of seratonin also affect the hormones. It can take a while to figure out what you need. Remember you want to give your body what it needs to function normally, you don't need a band-aid, or drugs to cover up symptoms. Don't put something into your body that it doesn't need.
What if you are taking a synthetic form of HRT and it works for you and you are happy with the results but are afraid of what the the long term effects may be on your health. Most women will not develop the problems associated the using the product. Of course if it's you that does get ill then maybe it wasn't worth it. You may have developed the problem anyway and you can't be sure you can blame it on HRT or not. One thing I have noticed missing from most of the research on HRT is taking into consideration the quality of life for some of these women. If you either don't try HRT, or come off it, for fear of developing possibly related health problems, and become so ill from the lack of hormones in your body that you lay around in bed watching life pass you by, then the risks may be well worth it. Estrogen has had such a bad report that we are all deathly afraid of it. Think of estrogen this way. When a woman is young and her estrogen level is at it's peak and functioning as it should, we see very little problems with heart disease, cancer, and osteoporosis. But as estrogen decreases, these diseases become common. That does not mean that we need HRT, mother nature often knows best and your body may be able to function beautifully at the lower levels of hormones that it produces after menopause. Estrogen is good for us in the right amount, so is progesterone. Don't be afraid of your hormones, just be informed so you can decided what you need and what you don't.
One last thing. Don't ever underestimate the importance of good nutrition, exercise, and meditation. I started eating an organic diet two years ago and feel so much better now. I also began regular meditation and have been able to give up most of my progesterone cream use. Exercise will increase your energy levels among other benefits. Sometimes doing these three things will increase your health enough that you can forego the HRT, or reduce it. I recommend that you read The Greatest Diet On Earth by Karen Curinga. She has eliminated severe allergies, arthritis, ulcers, bouts with depression and blood circulation problems from her life, by following the diet she covers in her book. For more information you can go to www.thegreatestdietonearth-karencuringa.com I believe that in many, if not most cases, it is possible for women to go through the change of life without much bother if we take care of ourselves and improve our health. Be well!
Elimination
Communication:
An Alternative To Traditional Potty training
by Vicki Taylor Christensen
Did you know... that there is an alternative to using diapers? that you can start helping your child use a potty when he or she is an infant? that there are cultures where babies aren't diapered at all?
Elimination communication, or EC, is when a mother (or father or other caregiver) learns to recognize her infant's signals that he or she needs to eliminate, and responds by taking the baby to a potty or toilet. In many cultures worldwide, EC is the norm. In places such as China, India, and Africa, babies are often diapered for just a short time or even not at all. EC is a gentle and non-punishing way for mothers to create a deeper connection with their babies while also meeting the baby's elimination needs.
EC is possible because, contrary to conventional wisdom, babies are aware of their elimination needs at birth and during early infancy. They communicate these needs either vocally or through body language. If the mother or caretaker responds to the baby's signals by holding the baby over the toilet or sitting her on a potty, and changing wet or soiled diapers immediately, the baby's awareness of her elimination functions will be preserved. Conversely, if a baby's elimination cues aren't responded to and the baby is consistently allowed to pee or poop in a diaper, then her awareness of these needs will be dulled. Toddlers only need to be trained to use the toilet because they were first trained to eliminate in their diaper.
It sounds like a lot of work! Why would anybody want to do EC?
EC is a respectful way of helping your infant meet his needs. With EC your baby won't be sitting in his waste, and isn't likely to have diaper rash. EC strengthens the bond between mother and baby. And of course, with EC you'll use fewer diapers, baby will be out of diapers sooner, and you don't have to deal with power struggles that often come with potty training a toddler.
How do you start ECing?
EC can be started as early as the first days or weeks of a baby's life. It usually works better if EC is started by the time a baby is 4-6 months old, although some babies older than this respond well to EC. First, observe your baby and her elimination patterns. It would help if you have the baby diaperless or wearing a diaper with no cover for a day or at least a few hours. Pay attention to timing-for example, how much time is there between when your baby nurses and pees? Does your baby pee right after waking? (Most babies do.)
Watch your baby for any facial expressions, squirming, grunting, fussing, or hollering and see if she pees or poops soon after making these signals. Also, listen to your intuition-quite often the little voice in your head saying "he needs to pee" is right.
When you think the baby needs to eliminate, begin by removing the outer clothing and diaper (if you're using one) and hold your baby by the upper thighs in a squatting position over the bathroom sink, the toilet with the seat up, or any other appropriate place. Some ECers "pee the baby" over their backyard bushes or hold a tiny baby over a small bowl during or after nursing. You could also sit the baby on a small potty. It's important to talk to the baby; constantly explain what you're doing. Some mothers use a sound such as "pss" for pee and "hmm" or a grunty sound for bowel movements to cue the baby to start going.
Remember to be gentle and nonpunishing. The baby may not need to go every time you take her. It's important to be neutral and not act disappointed if the baby doesn't pee every time you take her potty, as well as if you miss pees. After all, if you were doing regular diapering, you certainly wouldn't be disappointed if your baby peed in her diaper.
As she grows, your baby's schedule and needs will be constantly changing. Don't be surprised if once you've got a good EC routine figured out, your baby goes through a growth spurt or has a teething phase that throws everything off. Keep communicating with your baby and be flexible with her changing needs.
Do I have to quit using diapers?
Some ECing moms have their babies diaperless nearly all the time from the beginning. Others use diapers full or part-time until their babies are having much fewer misses. Use whatever works for you, anywhere from having baby bare-bottomed to alternating between training pants and diapers or using diapers full-time. You could use training pants or even just long pants on your baby in situations like this.
A note about Elimination Communication away from home
As you practice elimination communication you will likely become very comfortable with your child's elimination. This is a good thing but it's important to remember that others may have health and cleanliness concerns regarding your baby's pee and poop. When you are at parks or other locations where there may not be a restroom available, please be respectful of others. For example, it would be more appropriate to take your baby to a secluded place or even hold the baby over a diaper to eliminate instead of having your baby pee in the middle of a public lawn. Similarly, if you choose to keep your baby diaperless, be sensitive when in other people's homes. Even if you are confident that you won't miss your baby's elimination cues, others may not understand EC or simply might not want to worry about the possibility of cleaning up after your baby. Consider asking acquaintances if they mind if your baby is diaperless in their home and putting your baby in training pants or other clothing that covers his or her bottom while visiting.
Conclusion
I started EC with my son when he was 10 weeks old. At first he was in cloth diapers full-time, and then gradually I started putting him in training pants part of the time. I stopped diapering him during both day and night when he was 21 months old. Over the next several months he gradually became responsible for getting himself to the potty. EC was difficult for me at times, but I am glad my son was out of diapers as soon as he was, and that I didn't have any potty-training struggles with him. I'm also grateful that using elimination communication taught me patience as well as a respectful attitude towards my baby and his needs.
If you are interested in EC and want more information, there are books and many websites available. If you're curious about EC and you have a young baby, just give it a try and see what happens!
Resources
Books Diaper Free! The Gentle Wisdom of Natural Infant Hygiene by Ingrid Bauer.
Infant Potty Training by Laurie Boucke.
Infant Potty Basics: With or Without Diapers . . . the Natural Way by Laurie Boucke
Infant Communication, Raising Babies without Diapers, and more. by Natec(available at http://www.gaiayoga.org/ordering.html)
Websites
http://www.committed.to/ec The Elimination Communication Station
http://www.timl.com/ipt Infant Potty Training webring
http://www.freewebs.com/freetoec/ My Journey to Elimination Communication, includes comprehensive directory of EC links
http://www.s-line.de/homepages/bradfisch/eFamilieEC.htm EC website in German and English
Although EC is still relatively unheard of, more and more mothers in the US and other western cultures are giving EC a try and learning first-hand of its benefits.