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Financial
Planning For Women A Must
Trying To Conceive Trying Not To Conceive
Addicted To HPT's (Home Pregnancy Tests)
Female Circumcision. Male Circumcision. Is There
A Difference?
The
Family Bed Defended
Financial Planning For Women A Must
Where
Did My Hormones Go?
Complete,
As Nature Intended
Trying
To Conceive.
Trying Not to Conceive©
by
Karen Squires
I've just turned 40 years old. That means that I've spend over 20 years thinking about my fertility. Sometimes my goal was to achieve pregnancy, other times I wanted to prevent it. Either way, I discovered there are many ways to monitor fertility naturally.
One method is by using a tiny hand held microscope used to view saliva to determine your fertile period. These microscopes are about the same size as a tube of lipstick so you can carry them around in your purse. The simplicity in this method of testing is wonderful. No more collecting urine for ovulation predictor kits. With this tiny microscope you simply lick the lens and wait 10 minutes for the saliva to dry then view your results. A woman's saliva changes in the 3-4 days leading up to ovulation. During those few days electrolytes (or salts) increase dramatically in body fluids (e.g.. cervical mucus and saliva) along with the hormone estrogen. This causes a ferning-like pattern to occur in dried cervical mucus and saliva. The ferning is caused by the dried salt and looks much like the frost seen on the window on a winter morning. A few days before ovulation you will start to see small lines about the width of a hair and about 1/4 of an inch long. There may be just a few or there may be many of them. The quantity is not as important as the presence of them. You are now approaching ovulation. You should now test at least two times per day. Soon you will see the presence of more lines and they may become longer. The patterns may take different shapes, i.e.: veins in a leaf, snowflakes, spider's web, frost on a window pane. The lines will connect and overlap, this is the ferning pattern you are looking for. This means you are starting the ovulation process and now is the best time for relations. Continue to test at least two times a day. On any other day in the cycle the dried mucus or saliva will look like random unconnected dots. The fertile type ferning will return to a dot pattern usually about 2-3 days after ovulation. Some women report no ferning the day of ovulation, you will learn what is normal for you after a few cycles. When a combination of dots and ferns are present it is called a "transition" pattern the woman is less fertile, but conception is still very possible. A little hint; don't wait until the last day of ferning to do the "baby dance" as you may have missed the egg since ferning may continue for 2-3 days after ovulation. If you wish to conceive, have relations as soon as you see the fertile ferning and continue until it passes back to the infertile dot pattern.
Researchers have been studying the changes in cervical mucus during a woman's cycle since 1945 and fertility clinics and doctors have been using this method of determining fertility for decades. In 1969, Dr. Biel Cassals, a Spanish gynecologist, studied the crystallization of saliva. In 1971 he developed a microscope to check for ferning in saliva. Since then many handheld microscopes have appeared on the market and range in price from about $29.99- $60 on average. I use the Lady-Q as I love the small size, about that of a compact lipstick, and with the battery operated light it is easy to read your results.
If your child has a microscope you can use that. 100-200x magnifications is all that is needed. I've even used a loupe that's used for looking at negatives. It is only 8x magnification and I could see ferning. The saliva microscope is more convenient than your child's microscope though, as they are portable and your child may not appreciate you spitting on their toys.
Along with checking saliva for ferning you can use other fertility signs to either avoid or achieve pregnancy. The Natural Family Planning method includes using a temperature chart that records your basal body temperature. Your basal body temperature is you body's temperature at rest. This chart can help you determine if you are ovulating each cycle and about when it happens.
During the first part of a woman monthly cycle, called the follicular or proliferative phase, the egg is maturing under the influence of estrogen. The estrogen continues to rise as the egg matures. When the estrogen reaches a certain level it triggers the release of LH (Luteinizing Hormone) which causes the ovary to release the mature egg. The second phase of your cycle now begins, called the luteal or ovulatory phase. After the egg is released from the ovary the follicle that held the egg will collapse on itself becoming a corpus luteum. The corpus luteum produces progesterone for the remainder of the cycle. Progesterone does three things. It prevents any more eggs from being released that cycle. It thickens the uterine lining in preparation for the fertilized egg. And it causes the cervical mucus to become infertile again along with changing the position and conditions in the cervix. Progesterone is a heat producing hormone and causes a slight raise in your basal body temperature. Your temperature chart will show this temperature rise usually about 12-48 hours after ovulation. If no pregnancy occurs the corpus luteum deteriorates about 12-16 days after ovulation and your period begins. The first day of your period is day one of your new cycle. If conception does occur the egg will travel down the fallopian tube to the uterus, a journey that takes 3-4 days. It floats around in the uterus for a few more days and then attaches itself to the uterine lining about 7-10 days after ovulation. It then immediately releases Human Chorionic Gonadotropin (HCG) into your blood stream and signals the corpus luteum to continue producing progesterone and you will miss your period. It is HCG that home pregnancy tests (HPT) detect in your urine and you may get a positive as early as 9-12 days after ovulation. Pioneer Valley Hospital offers free pregnancy testing Monday-Friday from 8am-4pm. Wait until your period is late before getting tested.
After you have charted your temperature for about 3-4 cycles you will be able to determine when ovulation may occur and plan around it. If trying to conceive you will want to do the "baby dance" during the days immediately before ovulation. If you are trying to avoid pregnancy you should abstain for about 5 days before ovulation and about 2-3 days after.
In order for the temperature chart to be of use to you you need to take your temperature at the same time every morning before getting up, so if you have an erratic schedule this may not work for you. You will need a basal body temperature thermometer. It is more sensitive than a regular thermometer and can detect very small changes in body temperature. They can be purchased at drug stores for around $10.
One down side to the temperature chart is that it lets you know after ovulation has occurred, not that it is going to. So if you are trying to conceive don't wait until after the temperature rise to have relations as you will actually be practicing birth control. (This is where the saliva testing comes in very handy as it lets you know that ovulation is on it's way.)
Most chart examples show 28 day cycles but know that it is not an indication of a fertility problem if your cycles are longer or shorter. What matters is that your luteal phase (the second part of your cycle after ovulation with the temperature rise) is fairly consistent in regards to the number of days from ovulation to menstruation. If you usually have a 13 days luteal phase you should see that same pattern within a day either way, every cycle. (Your luteal phase should be at least 10 days long, some doctors say 12, in order for the egg to implant and signal the ovary to continue production of progesterone. You may have repeated early miscarriages if it is shorter). The first part of your cycle when the egg is maturing, can fluctuate from 3 weeks to 5 weeks, without alarm. It is not uncommon for women to ovulate on Day 14, Day 18, Day 21....irregular cycles are common.
Natural Family Planning also recommends that you include some other methods of checking fertility along with the temperature chart. You can check your cervical mucus as it can give you signs that ovulation is on it's way. Leading up to ovulation cervical mucus becomes fertile and will look much like clear egg white from a raw egg. If placed between a thumb and finger it will stretch quite far, 1-or more inches. After ovulation this type of mucus goes away and becomes white and pasty, dry, yellow, or any combination of that. Reading cervical mucus signs can take a few cycles to learn. I have only given you a tiny bit of information on how to do it. You'll need to read about this some more to know what to look for.
You can also check cervical position. Close to the time of ovulation the cervix becomes softer, moves higher, and opens up. After ovulation it moves back down and becomes hard and closed. Wash your hands before checking your cervix.
Another
way to monitor fertility, and an expensive one, is ovulation predictor kits
(OPK's) They have become the rage for women trying to conceive. A kit usually
contains about 5 tests and costs $15 or more. You use one a day around the time
you expect ovulation to occur. They look much like pregnancy tests. You dip
the stick in your urine and lay it in the counter and wait for the results.
You will see a control line show up as the urine moves across the window. You
will also see a second line, called the test line, as ovulation approaches.
An ovulation predictor test differs from pregnancy tests in that with a pregnancy
test even a faint test line is positive and indicates that HCG has been detected
and you are likely pregnant. With OPK's the test line needs to be as dark or
darker than the control line to show that ovulation is imminent. I found OPK's
to be a waste of money. I have irregular cycles and so I could easily run 10-15
of these per cycle before I got a positive. It was draining my pocket book using
these each month and I found it much easier to keep a temperature chart, and
monitor other signs that ovulation was approaching. Not using OPK's left some
of the fun and spontaneity in doing the baby dance since I wasn't quite sure
when the egg was going to arrive. Of course using the saliva detector is much
cheaper and easier to use so why waste your money.
Check out http://www.fertilityfriend.com. fertilityfriend.com allows you to record your temperature every day. It also asks you what your cervical position is as well as what your mucus is like (you can choose not monitor those if it makes you feel uncomfortable) among other questions. It will tell you when you are fertile each cycle, when to test for pregnancy, it will alert you to signs that you may be pregnant, when the baby will be due, along with other valuable information. I have charted on paper (which works very well too) for years and I still learned new things on fertilityfriend. You get 30 days free so try it at the beginning of a new cycle. By the end you'll have a much better understanding of your fertility. If you decide to continue with on-line charting you are offered a membership at $10 a month, $25 for 90 days or $45 for indefinite use. You can continue to use it free but with less options. It's fun and you'll learn a lot. BabyMed.com provides a similar free service.
At first Natural Family Planning may seem like a lot to absorb and you may feel like taking a birth control pill is much easier. It does become easier soon enough though as you practice, and think of the benefits of keeping man-made hormones out of your body. If you want to minimize the amount of time spent looking for signs of fertility I suggest using the saliva detector and keeping a temperature chart. It's reassuring to know where you are in your cycle.
There is quite a bit of information on Natural Family Planning whether you are using it for contraception or to achieve a pregnancy. The book I've heard most women refer to is Taking Charge of Your Fertility by Toni Weschler. It has color photo's of cervical mucus and a blank master basal body temperature chart. Once you've read this book you'll be well on your way to monitoring your fertility and may become pregnant if that is your goal.
Another book that is a good source of information is The Infertility Diet. Get pregnant and Prevent Miscarriage by Fern Reiss.
Using Natural Family Planning can be as effective as the birth control pill.
This site http://midlifemom.com/ offers information and support on mid life pregnancy, empty nest syndrome, menopause, and many other issues related to the aging mom. If you find yourself pushing 40, and either already are or about to become a mom, come right on in, because your in good company.
FREE ARTICLE: You are free to publish this article on websites and print publications. You can also email it to friends and/or associates. We just ask that you include this information with the article and let us know where you published it. This article first appeared in The Wise Mother magazine, published in Salt Lake City, Utah. http://www.motherchronicle.com email karensquires1@msn.com
Addicted
to HPT's
(Home Pregnancy Test)©
By
Karen Squires
If you laughed at this title, this article may be for you. HPT means Home Pregnancy Test and they are without a doubt, addictive. Alcoholics try to hide their addiction, so do women addicted HPT's. I know because I'm one of them.
I found HPT's at the dollar store for, you guessed it, a dollar. I was so excited. I only grabbed one test the first time I saw them. I ran home and used it right away. I got a BFN (Big Fat Negative). Of course I was only 7 days after ovulation so what could I expect.
The next day, after lying to my husband and telling him that I needed to run and get some shampoo, I was back at the dollar store for more. I bought five this time, figuring that if I ran one a day I would have enough to last until 12 days after ovulation. I always get a positive by 11 days after ovulation so I had enough to see if I had a baby in me this cycle. Two days later I had used them all up and was back at the store needing more shampoo. I bought another five tests. I was now 10 days after ovulation. Five more would last me until my next cycle started, which I hoped wouldn't come.
As I drove home I tried desperately to remember when I had gone to the bathroom last. I needed to hold my urine for at least 4 hours to let the pregnancy hormone build up. I remembered that it had only been about one and 1/2 hours. It was now 10:00 am, I'll have to wait until 12:30p.m. I told myself that when I got home I'd do the dishes, vacuum, dust, paint the bathroom, anything to keep my mind off of running the test. I pulled in the driveway, ran straight to the bathroom, and peed in a cup. Another BFN. Dang it. I have no self control. I'll have to start all over again.
It's now 11 am. I have to hold my urine until 3 pm to let the hormone (if there is any) build up again. At 1:30 pm I run another test. BFN! Dang it all to heck! What is my problem. And I get frustrated at my kids not having any patience.
I decide to go to the mall to make sure that I can't run another test for a few hours. I am tempted to take a test with me to use at the bathroom in the mall just in case I can't control myself but I remember that I'll have my five year old with me which would make it hard to run a test there. Off to the mall I go having made it out the door without a test hidden in my purse.
I have now gone most of the day with out drinking as I don't want to dilute my urine and make what might be a BFP(Big Fat Positive) turn into a BFN by having too much water in my bladder. I am thirsty, frustrated and getting crabbier and crabbier by the minute.
We walk around the mall, me trying to get a peak at the baby and maternity things, but a five year old has no need for those so I don't even get a fix by doing that. Two hours later we are bored and my son is begging to come home and eat. I look at my watch. I can't go home yet, I just can't. I tell my son that I'll buy him something to eat, get him a toy, anything to stay there a little longer. He sees the desperation in my eyes and agrees to let me buy him a Hot Wheels car and some chicken strips. That uses up another hour. Soon he wants to go home again and no amount of bribing works this time. It's only been three hours now so I take the long way home. I keep hearing a little voice from the back seat telling me that I've gone the wrong way and a tiny finger points to the east telling me to turn that way NOW!
Okay, Okay, we'll go home.
It's been three and 1/2 hours and I'm so thirsty that I can hardly swallow. We pull into the driveway, I run into the house, down the hall to the bathroom, and run another test. Another BFN!!! Dang it! Dang it! Dang it all to HECK! Grrrr.
I had ran the rest of the tests by the next day at noon and since it was now 11 days after ovulation and I still hadn't got my BFP I knew that Aunt Flo and her dog spot would find me soon. On to the next cycle. I am going to have more self control next time.
A few days later I really do need some shampoo and tell dear hubby that I need to run and get some. He gives me a funny look and asks "Didn't you just get some a few days ago?"
I walk into the dollar store knowing that I'm safe from my addiction for another two weeks but as I walk past the HPT's to the shampoo I notice that they only have 20 tests left. I panic. What if they are all gone in two weeks, what will I do, where will I go. I grab all 20 tests and head to the cash register, kicking myself all the way there. When I get home I find a good place to hide them, way in the back of the closet.
My husband calls from the shower and asks me for the shampoo. I'm still in the process of hiding the tests and I call back to him, my mind still in an addictive fog, "Shampoo! What shampoo?"
FREE ARTICLE: You are free to publish this article on websites and print publications. You can also email it to friends and/or associates. We just ask that you include this information with the article and let us know where you published it. This article first appeared in The Wise Mother magazine, published in Salt Lake City, Utah. http://www.motherchronicle.com email karensquires1@msn.com
Female
Circumcision. Male Circumcision. Is There A Difference?©
by Karen Squires
"In looking at both Female Genital Mutilation (FGM) and Male Genital Mutilation (MGM), it appears that there is no equal protection under the law for male infants and boys under the equal protection clause of the 14th amendment of the U.S. Constitution. Illegal to perform FGM, fine to perform MGM. Yes, willful destruction of the primary male sex organ is unethical. Or is it much more than unethical?" -Ken Derifield of The Intact Network
In the June 2, 2002 issue of The Salt Lake Tribune there is an article titled African Girls Suing Parents Over Circumcision. As I read it, I wondered how many others reading the article were reacting the same way I was. Did they see the similarities between female and male circumcision? Were they wondering how we can be so blind as to not see we do the same thing everyday here in the U.S. to our baby boys?
Over the years I've read news articles, magazine stories and watched television documentaries on circumcision rituals in other countries. The images show boys, 12 years old, or around that age, being held down, legs apart, crying, as they are circumcised. I would look at the expression on the boys face and just cringe. How could the adults do that? How could the parents allow that to happen? My instinct is to protect my children. If anybody held one of my sons down like that, with a knife in hand, I'd be on top of them, attacking, saving my child.
When I read about, and see images of girls being circumcised, I react the same way. Some parents want their sons circumcised. If they had a girl would they want her circumcised? Genital mutilation is genital mutilation, male or female. A rose is a rose is a rose. Is there a difference between female and male circumcision?
Is there is a difference between our male babies being circumcised, and the older boys being cut in other countries. Lets talk about it and we'll see they are not so different.
Circumcision in the U.S. was started at the end of the 1800's in a vain attempt to stop or lessen masturbation which was blamed for dozens of diseases with unknown origins at that time.* Tens of thousands of girls were also circumcised (removal of the clitoris) for the same "reason." This was also recommended and found in U.S medical journals as late as 1959.
The goal in circumcising boys was to reduce sexual feelings. This was accomplished by damaging the penis as much as possible, without jeopardizing procreation. Most of the sensuous nerve endings were removed, exposing the remaining near surface nerve endings for destruction over time, and removing the natural mobility of the penile skin system. Changing the fully functional, sensuous, and mobile male sex organ into a desensitized, dowel-like organ was the desired result. Male circumcision remained very limited in the U.S. until new excuses were invented in the 1930's and 1940's.
In female circumcision, the goal is to ensure chastity by eliminating the girls' sex drive by removing the sensuous nerve endings in her external genitalia. The most common form of female circumcision is the removal of the entire clitoris, including the unseen shaft or root, creating a deep hole where the organ was located, and cutting away the labia minora (inner labia). The male foreskin is analogous to the female foreskin (clitoral hood) and labia minora. The loss of sensuous nerve endings and motion to the penis penile mobility is quite similar to this form of female circumcision. In some cultures one of the labia majora (outer labia) is also removed, the other outer labia is stretched over the wound, sewn, and holes punched through the now hidden female external genitalia for the passage of urine and menses. This is called infibulation.
Some girls have bled to death, died of infections or other complications. Some of our boys have bled to death, died of infections, gastric rupture or other complications. Damage is created in both cases.
Female circumcision is a custom. Circumcision of our baby boys is a custom. The American Academy of Pediatrics policy on circumcision concluded by saying "however, that it is legitimate for parents to take into account cultural, religious and ethnic traditions..." I disagree. In countries where girls are circumcised because of those reasons we shudder at the thought and consider the practice barbaric, so why is it okay to take those into consideration here.
Kenya has outlawed female circumcision. Anyone who circumcises a girl under age 18 years old can be fined $650 and may spend a year in prison.
This practice is obviously being carried out against the wishes of the girl. Why would anybody want that done to them? I would never agree to it being performed on me or my child. Would you? When we allow our baby boys to be circumcised should we be fined? After all, the baby is too young to be asked for their permission. If we waited until our sons were older and asked them if they wanted to be circumcised, what do you think they'd say? It's their body, not ours. The older boys we see are held down against their wishes. Our baby boys are strapped down on a board, their legs apart. They can't move. They are helpless.
When older boys and girls are circumcised it is often done without anesthesia or medication to ease the pain. Until recently our baby boys were not offered pain medication either. The pain is so intense that enough pain medication cannot be injected. Even a little Prilocaine or Lidocaine (and EMLA cream) given to an infant can result in nerve damage, brain damage or death (Canadian Nurse, Aug. 1994). Even now some Dr's perform the procedure without pain medication. If the baby does receive medication it is only during the procedure, and does not eliminate all the pain. The pain persists for days, and any friction, contact with urine and normal erections are painful for weeks. The baby gets nothing during the healing time.
Some believe there are medical reasons to circumcise our babies. There are none, not one single reason to routinely circumcise girls or boys, of any age. Today there is not one medical association in the entire world that recommends circumcision.
For every 100 circumcised males in the world there are 21 circumcised females. Routine circumcision is unethical to say the least, whether it's a girl, an older boy, or a baby. So before we all gasp in horror at what is going on over seas maybe we should look at what we are doing right here in our own country.
*A university of Chicago study (Journal of the American Medical Association) Found that males who are circumcised masturbate more often than intact males. More friction is necessary to excite the few remaining deep nerve endings of the desensitized penis. So much for that initial "reason." Like the masturbation myth, the later excuses have all been found to be false.
Find out more about circumcision by reading Complete, As Nature Intended.
My deepest thanks
to Ken Derifield of The Intact Network for contributing to this article. He
can be reached at the following address; The Intact Network, 703 E. Walnut St.
Washington, IN 47501
e-mail intacnet@dmrtc.net
FREE ARTICLE: You are free to publish this article on websites and print publications. You can also email it to friends and/or associates. We just ask that you include this information with the article and let us know where you published it. This article first appeared in The Wise Mother magazine, published in Salt Lake City, Utah. http://www.motherchronicle.com email karensquires1@msn.com
The
Family Bed Defended©
by
Karen Squires
"The U.S. Consumer Product Safety Commission (CPSC) and the Juvenile Products Manufacturers Association (JPMA) is launching a mass-media national campaign aimed at 'reducing deaths associated with placing babies in adult beds."-The Compleat Mother magazine
I received this information in an email from The Compleat Mother Magazine. I have a burning question about their campaign. The CPSC is there to warn us about product safety, not family practices. I wonder why they are concerned with my families sleeping arrangements.
Wouldn't it be nice if their focus was to help make the family bed a safer place, and not about scaring parents into buying cribs. But that's not their goal.
The CPSC sited an average of 64 deaths per year of babies in adult beds. From this they decided to tell parents to avoid having the baby sleep in their bed. How many children die in car crashes every year? Why aren't they warning us to keep our children out of cars? They aren't. We are warned to use car seats, and taught to use them properly. Why not teach parents who want to have their children in bed with them how to do it safely?
The family bed is the practice of having babies/children sleeping in the same bed as their parents. We have a family bed ourselves. It wasn't something that I planned on when our youngest child was born. It wasn't something I'd even heard of. Not as something people actually wanted anyway. When I did hear of it it was when parents who were too tired to handle a child who didn't want to sleep alone, gave up and let the baby/child sleep with them. I wish I had been so smart.
Our older son had slept in a room by himself from 6 weeks on. I felt so overwhelmed by his needs during that day that I needed to be alone during the night to recoup. Looking back, I can see that I was a new mother who needed some help from family, friends, anybody in fact, to reduce my stress level. The answer then of course did not lie in needing to put my 6 week old in another room at night, but in getting more help during the day, or the night, to help me deal with motherhood better.
I was not following my instincts to have him near me at night, as I would wake up in the morning and upon not hearing him cry right away, would assume that he had succumb to SIDS during the night. One such morning I lay in bed for about 20 minutes, terrified to go and check on him. I was sure he had died and I was trying to put off going through the horror of actually knowing that it had happened. He eventually began to cry and I was incredibly relieved.
After he turned 12 months I started to relax about SIDS, but then the fear that he would be kidnapped out of his crib during the night started to creep in. I would check all the windows and doors before going to bed at night in my attempt to guarantee his safety until morning when I could have him safely in my arms again.
Believe it or not it didn't occur to me to ignore the pressures from society to push him away at night, and take him in my arms and keep him by my side.
When my second son was born I was older and wiser. I was less likely to be affected by what the crowd was doing. I came home from the hospital with my newborn son, still not aware of the family bed concept. I had a crib, a very expensive mattress, cute sheets, blankets and bumpers to match.
I held him almost constantly for the first 2-3 days as relatives and friends dropped by to see my new baby. During one such visit I became overwhelmed and tired from all the visitors and decided to retire to the bedroom. I lay my new sleeping son in his fancy crib and started to walk toward my bed for a much needed nap. I hadn't even made it three steps when he woke up crying. I went back to him, picked him up and started to rock him gently as I sang him a song. He was asleep in seconds. Again I lay him down in his crib. Again he awoke a few seconds later. This happened again and again. Over the next few days I grew more and more tired as I only managed to grab a few minutes sleep here and there. One day I was so desperate for sleep that I lay down in my bed with him, too tired to stand any longer. I made the bed safe for him, and fell asleep almost instantly. I woke up 2 hours later, the most amount of sleep I'd had in over a week. My baby was starting to stir, he was hungry, and this no doubt had awakened me. This was my first experience with the family bed. He has been in my bed every night since, over five years now.
I didn't immediately accept the family bed as a good thing. I did it because if I was to survive, I had to sleep. I couldn't leave him screaming for me, ignoring his cries. It would have broken my heart.
The first year was the hardest. I had family telling me to get him out of my bed. That I would suffocate him, roll on him, he'd roll off the bed. On and on went the warnings. But I knew he needed me close, and as a bonus I was not waking up in the morning wondering if he was alive. I could see that SIDS had not taken him, and no stranger was going to get into my bed, steal my baby, and leave without me hearing something. I was content being close to him and he was content being close to me.
It's instinct for a mother and baby to be near each other. Mother nature intended it that way to ensure the babe survives. Can you imagine a mother a million years ago leaving her baby in another part of the cave to sleep? The child would probably die from the cold, or get eaten by a predator. We don't live in caves now but human instinct has not changed. Our babies don't know what year it is, what century we live in. Nor do they care. All they know is that they need their mother and as mothers we should not ignore their needs.
Maria Montessori said that "If you want to understand the needs of the child, observe and study the child." It isn't hard to realize that your child needs you at night as well as during the day. How confusing to a child to be hugged and kissed, have their needs and wants attended to during the day, only to be pushed away at night. Your child's cries, nightmares, and fears of the dark are reminders that they are not meant to be left alone. When a child is left to "cry it out" in their own bed the parent may assume that the child has leaned to sleep alone. What the child has really learned is that their cries were not answered. Their needs not met. And what appears to be a well adjusted child sleeping in their own bed may be a child that has learned not to ask for help.
Some parents fear the child will never choose to leave the family bed and sleep on their own. Should we never carry our babies for fear they will never walk? Shall we put them on the potty at birth for fear they'll never outgrow diapers, or should we even skip the potty for fear they'll never use toilet? Children grow up and leave soon enough. Why do we feel the need to push them out. "Society has taken away the right of a baby to be dependent on it's mother." (The Family Bed by Tine Thevenin)
But what about safety? It is important to keep babies safe. The CPSC sites strangulation and suffocation as reasons for keeping babies out of adult beds. They didn't however, mention how many babies died from this same cause in cribs during the same time frame.
How do parents have a safe family bed? Keep pillows and thick blankets off the bed. 15 of the deaths sited by the CPSC were caused by blankets and pillows. This same danger exists in a crib. Make sure the baby can't slip between the mattress and the wall. Keep all furniture like bedside tables away from the bed so that if the child rolls off the bed he/she can't get lodged between the bed and furniture. Check headboards and footboards for safety. If there are bars make sure that the child can't get their head stuck between them. Check that the mattress fits the frame well and that it fits tightly with the headboard and footboard. Don't take drugs, even some over the counter drugs can make you less aware of baby. Don't drink alcohol. If the bed is against the wall make sure it is firmly against the wall. Babies can fall between them and suffocate. I check the bed is tight against the wall every night, without fail. And never take a baby or child to bed with you if you sleep in a water bed or have a feather bed. Don't sleep with babies or small children on couches or sofa beds either.
Many children have died in cribs."There are no statistics comparing the number of SIDS deaths that occurred in bed vs. the number that occurred in the crib. Until those statistics are known, the CPSC should not tell parents not to sleep with their babies," -Dr. William Sears.
It unlikely that a parent will roll over a baby and smother it unless the parent is using drugs, alcohol, or is in some way unable to arouse from sleep normally. Babies have built in alarm systems that arouses them if their air is reduced. Have you ever had a baby out on a windy day. The young baby panics quickly when the wind blows in their face and they can't breath. A baby that is choking will also react alarmingly. If you happened to roll on your baby, you would be awaken by a startled baby, instinct having kicked in, crying from the discomfort. Another reason it's unlikely you'll roll over your baby. Adults sleep in beds without rails. Do we fall off the bed? I don't. You have the same ability to stay off your baby.
At the risk of sounding sexist I'll say that I believe mothers, in many cases, are more aware of baby at night than fathers. Mother nature has it that mothers do most of the baby care while fathers hunt for food. We had our baby sleep between me and the wall and daddy slept on the outer edge.
Dr William Sears insists that it's far safer for babies to sleep with their parents that not to. Crib-related death takes more babies each year than deaths caused by the family bed. Family bed deaths are an average of 64 per year while crib-related deaths takes about 2500.
I wonder why the CPSC and JPMA are not interested in making the family bed a safe environment. I wonder why those two organizations have teamed up in the first place. Could it be to get us to buy more cribs? I hope not. The JPMA is a multimillion dollar industry that stands to profit from scared parent running out and buying cribs.
How accurate is the data that the CPSC is using to support their claim that the family bed is unsafe? "There is disturbing advertisement evidence that the information upon which these definitive claims are made is incomplete, unreliable and misguided. The CPSCs data was collected from death certificates, coroner's reports and other anecdotal sources. Circumstances surrounding the deaths, such as parental intoxication, are not recorded in these records. In addition, the determination of the cause of death is often subjective and is not always consistent even in comparable situations. In many areas of the country, infants who may have died from SIDS or other physical ailments in the parental bed are often recorded as cases of overlying."-iVillage/ParentsPlace.com
I want the CPSC to do an unbiased report of the different kinds of sleeping arrangements available. And they need to do it independently of JPMA. Parents don't need to be scared into spending money on a crib. They need to know that they can trust the reports of the CPSC.
If you want to practice the family bed, make it a safe environment and enjoy the company of your babies. If you don't feel comfortable with it then get a safe bed for your baby and put it close to your bed.
Remember to follow your instincts, be safe, and enjoy your children.
FREE ARTICLE: You are free to publish this article on websites and print publications. You can also email it to friends and/or associates. We just ask that you include this information with the article and let us know where you published it. This article first appeared in The Wise Mother magazine, published in Salt Lake City, Utah. http://www.motherchronicle.com email karensquires1@msn.com
Financial
Planning For Women A Must
By
Karen Squires
It appears that the wage gap among genders is there from the beginning. Women's wages, retirement and pensions are less than a man's and it starts as soon as we enter the work force as teenagers.
Results from a poll show that half of teenage girls make less that $6 per hour and only 34.1% of teenage boys do. 33.5% of boys make more than $7.51 per hour but only 19.2% of girls do.
According to an informational card called FACTS ABOUT.
• In the year 2000, women earned only 73% of every dollar men earned. A woman who has graduated from college will earn $23,000 less over her lifetime than a male performing the same job.
• Two thirds of the 7.2 million elderly women living alone have an income of less than $15,000 per year.
• In the year 2000, women who were over 65 years of age were twice as likely as men to live below the poverty level.
• 25% of older women rely on Social Security as their sole source of income.
Women who stay at home to raise their children are often penalized for taking care of their families. Men stay in the work force from teenage years to retirement. Women often work as teenagers and throughout their college years, then stay home and raise the children. It can take 5 years to make up for lost wages and retirement for every 1 year a woman takes off work. While both working outside of the home, and raising the children, are a necessary part of our society and family life, raising children is often seen as "less than", "not as important as," having a job.
While men in the workforce are building retirement plans, there is no retirement plans for a woman who stays at home with the children. It's sad that our country does not value the care that mothers provide for our children, and the future of our country, more than that. For women that do work, the situation is not much better, as retired women only get 1/2 as much pension as men do. And even worse, 50% of working women have jobs that provide no retirement at all.
Women who stay at home with the children often don't give much thought to retirement. They are sometimes unaware of what the future can and will hold for them. The may believe that their husbands retirement will take care of them. This may or may not be true. According to the National Center for Women & Retirement, 80 to 90% of women will be solely responsible for their own finances at some point in their live, mostly due to the death of a spouse or divorce. According to Sen. John Ashcroft (R-MO), 2/3 of women over 65 have no pension other than Social Security, and we all know how much we can count on that.
Men nor women can count on Social Security, and the stock market can be a ricky way to plan for the future, especially if you are not educated in finances, and most people aren't. According to Ihatefinancialplanning.com, 56% of women are afraid to learn about financial planning because the topic seems complicated and they don't feel confident in making financial decisions. But to trust that your husband's employer, or yours, is handling investment's wisely, and count on that as a comfortable retirement, is risky. There is a saying that the reason financial advisors are called brokers is because they are often broker than we are. They sometimes don't understand the market very well themselves and we are all trusting our futures on their decisions.
Regardless of your marital status, you should take a look at your retirement seriously. Fortunately women today are better educated and can learn how to take care of their finances. Make sure that your future is taken care of whether your husband is working and investing or not. Become involved in the planning, ask questions. Do you know where the money is? Do you know how to access it if your husband were to die suddenly? It can happen.
Become financially intelligent by reading books and taking classes in finances. I suggest you start reading the Rich Dad, Poor Dad books by Robert T. Kiyosaki, he's written many. Check your library for the titles available and read them all. You are capable of finding a physician to take care of your health, so find a financial planner that specializes in helping women, and take care of your finances. If that idea scares you, or if you don't have any money right now, start with reading and learning, it's free. The children grow up and you will find yourself back in the workforce. Become educated in the meantime and know what you are going to do with your money when you get some.
June cleaver never gave much thought to retirement, she let Ward do it all. That wasn't as dangerous then as it is now. Ward no doubt worked for a firm that had a DB retirement plan, or Defined Benefit. This plan defined a set dollar amount that Ward would received after retirement. For example, if Ward worked for 40 years he would get $1000 a month after he retired for as long as he lived. With inflation that may or may not be a comfortable income. Today most companies have a DC plan, or Defined Contribution. Your company matches your contribution. If you contribute nothing, you get nothing. If you do contribute, your contribution is often put into the stock market by your company. You may retire with a lot of money or you may retire broke, depending on what the market is doing and/or how well your money is managed.
Consider your stocks as the tires on your car. They are great and certainly necessary. But would you drive around without a spare in case one or all of your tires went flat? No! Have other ways that you are investing your money for retirement, like income property for example.
It's a good idea to have some of your financial planning separate from your husbands. The divorce rate is at 50% and that makes it imperative that you are taking care of yourself. I got married back in 1980, and I thought that it would last forever. I was divorced 7 years later. I was a single mother, no education past high school, and a toddler to take care of. I spent 10 long years going to college and barely surviving. I learned the hard way. But I was also lucky as it taught me that life can change in a second. I went from middle class to surviving on $300 a month. I learned that lesson as a fairly young woman so I had plenty of time to make changes and plans for the future. I can't even begin to imagine how difficult that lesson would have been if I had been 65. At some point in 9 out of 10 women's lives, they will be the sole income earner. I am now becoming financially intelligent. It is a long process and I have so much to learn. But I am taking it one step at at time.
Another reason to have some financial planning separate from your husband's is life span. Women often live longer than men. You should consider the possibility that you may live into your 90's. Where are you going to get the money to survive on for that long? Scary thought, isn't it. Don't put it off any longer. Become financially wise now.
FREE ARTICLE: You are free to publish this article on websites and print publications. You can also email it to friends and/or associates. We just ask that you include this information with the article and let us know where you published it. This article first appeared in The Wise Mother magazine, published in Salt Lake City, Utah. http://www.motherchronicle.com email karensquires1@msn.com
Where
Did My Hormones Go?
by
Karen Squires
Premenopause, perimenopause, menopause, premature menopause, postmenopause, what do those words mean. Although the definitions can vary a little depending on where you read about them, I'll define the words here so you'll have a better understanding of them.
Premenopause is your entire reproductive years before menopause, beginning with your first menstruation and ending with your last.
Perimenopause is the time immediately before menopause(can last from 5-15 years) when the cycles become irregular. For me this began around age 33 although I wouldn't recognize it for many years after. Often this period begins between ages 35 and 45. The woman may see her doctor concerned with symptoms that she feels are hormonal and may be told that she is too young and to come back in a few years.
Premature menopause, or premature ovarian failure, occurs when a woman completes menopause in her 20's, 30's or 40's. It is very difficult to deal with emotionally and physically as it causes infertility and the woman may not have any children yet or may want to have more. Since estrogen declines in premature menopause just like natural menopause, it puts the woman at risk for diseases.
Menopause(natural) is the permanent cessation of menstruation resulting from the loss of ovarian follicular activity. Is is said to have occurred when 12 months of having no menstrual periods have occurred or when there is no other obvious pathological or physiological cause. The average age is 50 years old.
Natural menopause occurs when the cycles of ovulation come to an end because the supply of eggs diminishes.
Menopause(Induced) is when both ovaries are removed(with or without removal of the uterus) or when ovarian function has ceased because of chemotherapy or radiation.
Postmenopause is the period after all menstrual cycles have stopped completely. Clinicians recognize this period as beginning after 12 full months have passed without a monthly cycle. This is the time where the hormones reach a level of stability after the fluctuations that occurred during perimenopause. Hotflashes have usually calmed down and the emotions have stabilized.
Some women can pass through premenopause to postmenopause without much trouble. They don't have premenstrual syndrome(PMS) or have very little of it. They don't have cramps before their period or if they do they are insignificant. They may wonder if PMS even exists and may think that women who complain of it are making it up or exaggerating. When they enter perimenopause they glide through it and have little or no trouble. They may have a few hot flashes and/or gain a few pounds but for the most part they have the type of body that handles the hormone fluctuations quite well. They may wonder why hormone replacement exists and why there is such a fuss being made about it. Fortunately many women fit into this category and sail through life with very little trouble with their hormones.
Other women are not so lucky and have many symptoms from their hormones fluctuating. Some are so badly affected that they are miserable and maybe become unable to function normally. This can be the time of life that women either attempt or achieve suicide.
In the last four decades many advances have been made in women's health. At the beginning of this century little was know about women's health and doctor's(who were mostly men) treated women's complaints by giving them a little tonic which was syrup with alcohol added. In the early 1960's birth control was approved by the FDA and in 1973 Our Bodies, Ourselves, was published by the Boston Women's Health Collective and pushed women's issues into becoming a very public issue. The feminist movement in the early 1960's brought even more light to the topic of women's health and women began talking about their health openly. Women were becoming career oriented, were involved in politics and could no longer be hushed and kept behind closed doors too afraid to discuss their health even with their closest friends and relatives. Women today are educated, better informed and less likely to follow doctor orders and take a little pill for this and that. They are reading, researching, experimenting, and passing the information back to their doctors who in turn pass it onto other women. Many physicians today are women and have experienced their own issues with health and hormones and have made it a priority to find solutions not only for their own health problems but the health problem of the women they treat.
Many women try synthetic Hormone Replacement Therapy (HRT, as opposed to natural HRT, more on this follows) to reduce their symptoms. It is estimated that about 13.5 million women in the United States are taking HRT during and after menopause. About 8 million of those are taking estrogen only. About 6 million take estrogen and progestin together. Progestin is added to try and counteract the effects of estrogen on the uterus which can contribute to uterine cancer, but progestin intolerance is one of the reasons women stop HRT, bleeding being is the most common.
News broke in July of 2002 that the risks of HRT outweigh the benefits. According to the study, out of 10,000 thousand women taking HRT you can expect to see breast cancer increased by 8 women, colorectal cancer decreased by 6, heart attacks increased by 7, hip fractures decreased by 5, blood clots increased by 18, stroke increased by 8.
A study by the National Cancer Institute found that by taking HRT for 10 years, the recommended amount of time suggested to reduce the risk of osteoporosis, your risk of ovarian cancer increases by 60% and after taking HRT for 20 years your risk triples.(1) No matter what you read about HRT though, after decades of research, the benefits compared to the risks of HRT still remain uncertain. (Some research shows that it is progesterone that prevents osteoporosis, not estrogen.)
When you are handed a prescription for synthetic HRT you should know what your actually getting. The estrogen used in HRT is derived from pregnant mares urine, yes,... horses! Mare's urine only contains two types of estrogen and those two types of estrogen are natural for horses, not humans. Humans have three types of estrogen, estrone, estradiol, and estriol. Taking only two forms of estrogen instead of three(and for a horse rather than a human) can produce side effects like increased bleeding and the increased risk of breast cancer.
Rather than taking synthetic HRT, why not try natural HRT. The chemical makeup in natural HRT is exactly the same as what is in our bodies. The estrogens and progesterone are derived from plants and have been safely prescribed in Europe for over 50 years and have almost no side effects. Why doesn't your doctor know about this form of HRT?. Natural substances can't be patented so the drug companies have no interest in them and they are not pushed on your doctor by drug salesmen. An estimated two million women use natural hormone replacement therapy and are benefiting from them without taking the risks involved with synthetic HRT.
Natural HRT is made in compounding pharmacies to meet the needs of the individual woman. You can work with your doctor to determine the exact amount of each hormone you need. There are compounding pharmacies in Unites States and around the world. Look them up on the www. You need a prescription for it so you will need to search around a bit for a medical provider who will work with you in using natural HRT. Many are not aware of it and some don't know much about it. Since you need a prescription your insurance may cover it. Call a compounding pharmacy and ask for a list of doctors that provide prescriptions for natural HRT and make an appointment to see one of them.
Before you run to your health care provider begging for hormones though you should become educated about your health. The woman who is suffering through this sometimes difficult time should read, read, read, it is the most important first step. You need to be aware of the choices available so you can be actively involved in the process of finding out what works for you. You want to talk intelligently with your heath care provider and become a partner in the sometimes complicated process of regaining your health. There are many books at the library on menopause. I've read a lot of them myself. At first I became confused as I realized that they all seemed to say different things, even contradicting each other. For example, the book What Your Doctor May Not Tell You About Premenopause, by John R. Lee, is about how wonderful progesterone is. It will list the symptoms of estrogen dominance and tells you if you are experiencing these symptoms you may benefit from a natural progesterone cream. Many of the symptoms on the list were my complaints to I tried the cream. I woke up one morning feeling oh so bad from PMS, went to the medicine cabinet, got the progesterone cream I had purchased the day before, and rubbed a small amount on my arm. About an hour later I felt a calm come over me, my symptoms all but disappeared, and I proceeded to have a better day than I had had in over two years. I was ecstatic.
I still had some issues with hormones though and continued to read more and more books on menopause. When I read Screaming To Be Heard I was crushed. The author, unlike John R. Lee, pretty much said that progesterone is not the hormone that is needed by most women and that estrogen is. She goes on to prove her point as well as John R. Lee proved his point that progesterone is what is needed. For the next two days I didn't use the progesterone cream thinking that I shouldn't use it after all. That's as long as it took for me to start feeling "oh so bad" again and I practically ran to the cabinet to get some some and rub it on my arm. Ah, relief!
Another book,What's Wrong With My Hormones? by Gillian Ford, is also about how wonderful estrogen is. The Author tells the story of her own hormone difficulties starting at puberty and lasting for years until she discovered that estrogen reduced her symptoms within hours after her first application. She too thinks that estrogen is the answer for many women. She does cover progesterone a little though and agrees that it can help some women.
I've read enough books on menopause now to know that there is not just one right answer to hormone problems. There are many, and the solutions are as individual as the woman. Some women may need estrogen, some may need progesterone, some(or many according to the author of Screaming to be heard) need both. There are other hormones that need to be checked as well, your thyroid function, among other, should be tested thoroughly. You'll need to work closely with your health care provider to decide what's right for you.
But what kind of health care provider should you see? Do you see your gynecologist, midwife, general practitioner, Naturalopathic physician? I'd say the answer lies in who can help you the most and that depends on the expertise of the individual health care provider. If you go to your gynecologist, for example, and complain of symptoms that you believe are hormone related and you get handed some samples of synthetic HRT, a prescription for some more, and a pat on the head, or even worse, antidepressants(for some women antidepressant are the solution though as hormone troubles can be cause by stress and/or low levels of serotonin), I suggest that you either insist on testing or find help somewhere else. You should shop around until you find somebody who is willing to really look at your hormones, multiple times if that's what it takes to get an accurate picture of what yours are doing, and treat you as an individual.
A Natural HRT combination of estrogen and progesterone may work for you, or progesterone cream alone may be your answer, and so may be the antidepressants that are so often handed out, but you need to know what those treatments do and what the side effects can be so you can make an informed decision. For example there is no point in taking an antidepressant if you need progesterone. In this case the antidepressant may only cover up the symptoms, and not treat the original problem. Estrogen and progesterone affect the levels of seratonin in the brain so an antidepressant may help you, but taking estrogen and/or progesterone may help even more. Levels of seratonin also affect the hormones. It can take a while to figure out what you need. Remember you want to give your body what it needs to function normally, you don't need a Band-Aid, or drugs to cover up symptoms. Don't put something into your body that it doesn't need.
What if you are taking a synthetic form of HRT and it works for you and you are happy with the results but are afraid of what the the long term effects may be on your health. Most women will not develop the problems associated the using the product. Of course if it's you that does get ill then maybe it wasn't worth it. You may have developed the problem anyway and you can't be sure you can blame it on HRT or not. One thing I have noticed missing from most of the research on HRT is taking into consideration the quality of life for some of these women. If you either don't try HRT, or come off it, for fear of developing possibly related health problems, and become so ill from the lack of hormones in your body that you lay around in bed watching life pass you by, then the risks may be well worth it. Estrogen has had such a bad report that we are all deathly afraid of it. Think of estrogen this way. When a woman is young and her estrogen level is at it's peak and functioning as it should, we see very little problems with heart disease, cancer, and osteoporosis. But as estrogen decreases, these diseases become common. That does not mean that we need HRT, mother nature often knows best and your body may be able to function beautifully at the lower levels of hormones that it produces after menopause. Estrogen is good for us in the right amount, so is progesterone. Don't be afraid of your hormones, just be informed so you can decided what you need and what you don't.
One last thing. Don't ever underestimate the importance of good nutrition, exercise, and meditation. I started eating an organic diet two years ago and feel so much better now. I also began regular meditation and have been able to give up most of my progesterone cream use. Exercise will increase your energy levels among other benefits. Sometimes doing these three things will increase your health enough that you can forego the HRT, or reduce it. I recommend that you read The Greatest Diet On Earth by Karen Curinga. She has eliminated severe allergies, arthritis, ulcers, bouts with depression and blood circulation problems from her life, by following the diet she covers in her book. For more information you can go to www.thegreatestdietonearth-karencuringa.com I believe that in many, if not most cases, it is possible for women to go through the change of life without much bother if we take care of ourselves and improve our health. Be well!
FREE ARTICLE: You are free to publish this article on websites and print publications. You can also email it to friends and/or associates. We just ask that you include all the information on this page with the article and let us know where you published it. This article first appeared in The Wise Mother magazine, published in Salt Lake City, Utah. http://www.motherchronicle.com email karensquires1@msn.com